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8 Things to Avoid When Living With a Roommate
Adjusting to new living conditions in college can be difficult enough as it is, and when you have to live with a complete stranger on top of that, it can feel quite unsettling. If you’ve been in college for a few years, then you’ve probably lived with at least one roommate by now.
You might’ve gotten lucky and had a nice roommate who you got along well with. Or maybe you had a roommate who made you want to pull your own hair out. Regardless of the type of roommate or roommates you end up living with in college, it’s always important to work on developing healthy relationships with them since you’ll be around each other a lot.
By learning what to avoid when living with a roommate, you can prevent uncomfortable situations from occurring and have a better chance at becoming close friends.
1. Lack of Communication
The foundation to any healthy relationship is always communication. A good way to establish proper communication with your roommate is by getting to know each other better — ask them what they like to do for fun, figure out what you guys have in common, and let them know important things about yourself.
Once you guys are more familiar with each other, the easier it will be to set boundaries, work through problems, and develop trust. You’ll also be able to avoid conflicts and develop a comfortable living environment when you effectively communicate with your roommate on a regular basis.
2. Not Respecting Privacy
Not all roommates end up as best friends, especially early in the semester when they’re still essentially strangers. Even if you guys do become close, it’s important to always respect their privacy. For students sharing a traditional doom room with a roommate, it can be easy to get on each other’s nerves since there’s already little privacy to begin with.
If tensions get too high, try giving your roommate some space by spending time at other places around campus. You also don’t want to overstep your bounds by going through your roommates things and using them without their permission. This will just make matters worse and create a toxic living environment that neither of you want.
3. Randomly Inviting People Over
Communicating with your roommate and respecting their privacy boundaries are both key factors when it comes to inviting people over to your shared living space.
You don’t want to randomly invite your friend or significant other over without letting your roommate know first. If you plan on having a guest stop by, ask your roommate if they’re okay with that.
Better yet, set some ground rules about having people over so you can avoid any future conflicts. When is it okay to have people over? How do you feel about overnight guests? How many people are you comfortable with having over at one time?
While it might be awkward, these are all necessary questions to ask your roommate so both of you can come to an agreement and be mindful each other’s personal preferences.
4. Not Addressing Issues Early
No matter how well you get along with your roommate, conflicts can still arise. Many college roommates end up resenting each other because they avoid issues until things reach a boiling point that usually results in toxic arguments and passive aggressive behavior.
Instead of letting issues fester and turn into something more problematic, take a proactive approach by addressing them right away. Working through your concerns early will save you the stress and anxiety of dealing with them later on.
5. Poor Cleaning Habits
Whether you live in a dorm or somewhere off campus, you and your roommate have a responsibility to keep your living space clean. No one said college life is easy, and when you have to come back to a messy room everyday, it can take a toll on your mental health as time progresses.
In a shared dorm, it’s best to clean your side regularly because it won’t take long for clutter to build up in such a compact space — this will encourage your roommate to do the same to theirs. For larger spaces like suites or apartments, it’s a good idea to create a weekly cleaning schedule to make sure both of you split cleaning responsibilities equally.
Many college students only tidy up when they’re antipcating somebody coming over or because they got in an argument with their roommate about it. Instead of being like them, make the cleanliness of your living area a priority, you’ll be glad you did.
6. Not Being Open-Minded
Colleges value diversity because it creates an opportunity for their students to learn new perspectives and gain a better understanding of people from different backgrounds. By learning from their peers, students can come to appreciate more than just their own instilled values and beliefs.
It’s important to realize that your roommate might come from a culture and have a lifestyle unlike your own. Keeping an open mind to those differences and respecting them will not only allow you to get along with you roommate better, but it will also give you a greater appreciation for the life they live.
7. Conflicting Study Times
Trying to study while your roommate is close by can sometimes be frustrating and cause procrastination. Learn your roommate’s schedule so you can get an idea of when the room will be empty.
This will allow you to be more productive and study in peace without your roommate bothering you. Students who have their own room likely won’t have to worry about this, but in the dorms, it can become a big concern.
There’s going to come a point when someone will have to pull an all-nigher for an exam while the other is chitchatting with a friend they have over or they’re trying to sleep. Once you know your roommate’s schedule, the two of you can figure out appropriate study times that don’t conflict with one another.
8. Being Inconsiderate
Your roommate is living the same hectic, overwhelming college lifestyle as you are. When you’re feeling homesick or stressed out, your roommate is likely feeling the same way — or maybe even worse. That’s why you should always value their feelings and be considerate.
Roommates become lifelong friends by genuinely caring for each other. To show your roommate you care, ask them to do stuff with you. Take them to a college tailgate or another event on campus.
Go out to eat together and explore other areas around your college. You don’t have to spend every second with your roommate, but at least make an effort to have some fun once in awhile.
Related: 28 Fun Things to Do in College
