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How to Make Friends in College: The Ultimate Guide for Students
Figuring out how to make friends in college can be difficult for anyone, especially new students who struggle with social anxiety or get shy around people they’re not familiar with.
But you’ll quickly realize how easy it is to talk to other students since they’re going through the same struggles as you — getting used to new living conditions, feeling overwhelmed with academics, and figuring out how to make new friends in an unfamiliar environment.
From joining clubs to resolving conflicts, I’ll cover everything you need to know to make friends in college and keep them. The guide will breakdown the importance getting out of your comfort zone, explain how to effectively maintain friendships, and equip you with the tools needed to have a better social life and form meaningful friendships.
5 Tips for Making Friends
1. Talk to People First
Never introducing yourself to other students means you’ll miss out on so many chances to make friends. Instead of leaving things to chance and waiting for others to talk to you, take the first step and say hello.
You don’t have to become best friends after one conversion, but introducing yourself is always a good place to start. The anxiety of talking to someone first might feel overwhelming, especially if you’re an introvert, but it’s important to remember that many students feel that exact same way.
It’s not like every freshman instantly has a friend group as soon as then move into their dorm. It takes time and a willingness to put yourself out there first.
2. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Learning how to make friends in college all starts with getting out of your comfort zone. It’s difficult putting yourself in uncomfortable situations that aren’t part of your regular routine, but it’s essential in order to have a fulfilling college experience. So how do you actually step out of your comfort zone?
You have to dedicate yourself to change and seek challenges that will force you to grow. Get involved on campus, go to a few parties, and explore areas you’re unfamiliar with. Once you get out of your comfort zone, you’ll have more opportunities to increase your confidence and build friendships.
3. Make Small Talk
Introducing yourself will only get you so far — you have to learn small talk, which is a good method to use when talking to people you don’t know very well. Before you go up to someone, it’s best if you find something you can compliment them on and talk about for a few minutes.
From there, it’s all about asking open-ended questions to get them engaged in the conversation. While you’re listening to what they’re saying, try to form your next question based off their responses.
For example, if they mention their major is accounting, find out why they decided to choose that field of study. You can ask how their college experience is going so far to see if you’ve had any similar experiences.
Be sure to throw in small tidbits about yourself so you’re not hounding them with questions. Also, try to ask for their recommendations on certain things, like movies, places to eat around campus, or good places to study.
4. Be Friendly
Being friendly towards others is something everyone should strive to do. Simply smiling when you make eye contact with someone can be the deciding factor that makes them engage in a conversation with you.
Part of being friendly involves things I’ve already mentioned, such as introducing yourself, giving compliments, and engaging in small talk, but it also involves being kind. When you see someone in need, ask if they could use some help, rather than just ignoring them.
Additionally, try to perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis. This can be anything from holding the door for someone to giving school supplies to others who need them.
The most important part of being friendly is being genuine about it. If you’re being friendly for selfish reasons, people will see right through it. Don’t be friendly just to make yourself feel good — do it for the benefit of others.
5. Be Yourself
College is a time of self-discovery and self-development. As you navigate through your college journey, you’ll learn a lot about yourself, but whatever you do, don’t let outside factors pressure you into being someone you don’t want to be. Use college as a blank canvas to create your own path.
Staying true to yourself and who you are showcases your authenticity, which others will appreciate. It also means like-minded individuals will eventually gravitate towards you, making it easier to form genuine friendships with people who share the same interests and values as you.
9 Ways to Make Friends in College
As daunting as it might seem at first, college is one of the easiest environments to spark up friendly conversions with people and get to know them.
This is because there’s so many opportunities in college for students to meet new people and get out of their comfort zone. Below, I’ve put together the best ways to meet people in college so you can form quality connections that last a lifetime.
1. Talk to Your Classmates
The classroom acts as a common ground for students to engage with one another. And since you’ll be around the same classmates for several months, it’s worth getting to know them so you have a more enjoyable experience.
Becoming friends with classmates can actually benefit you academically by giving you the opportunity to form study groups and share notes with other students in class. Having a better rapport with classmates will also make it easier to engage in class discussions, which has shown to improve critical thinking skills and memory retention.
2. Volunteer
One of the most rewarding activities to do in college is volunteering. Doing volunteer work gives you an opportunity to help out the local community and meet some amazing people from all walks of life.
Helping people who are less fortunate provides a sense fulfillment and makes you aware of the hardships they have to go through. There’s also a good chance of forging friendships with the individuals you end up working with.
Volunteering can even improve soft skills, including problem-solving, leadership, and teamwork. For volunteer work on campus, try looking into volunteer programs your college offers or upcoming events to work. Off campus, you can check out local churches and animal shelters.
3. Attend Campus Events
Many experienced students and faculty members will tell you that attending campus events, such as festivals, tailgates, job fairs, and charity walks, is an excellent way to not only engage with more people around campus but also enhance your overall college experience.
Additionally, the specific event you attend can be a good topic of conversation between you and other students. If you’re looking to get out of your comfort zone, going to different campus events is a fun and easy way to do so.
4. Go Greek
Joining a fraternity or a sorority is a huge commitment, but they do come with lots of social and professional benefits. Being in a Greek organization will give you access to a large community of alumni with connections to employers in your field of study.
It’s a smart idea to network with these alumni members so you can leverage their connections when looking for internship or employment recommendations. Being apart of Greek life is also one of the best ways to meet like-minded individuals who can easily become some of your closest friends.
5. Hangout Around Campus
From gyms and basketball courts to student lounges and common rooms, there’s a number of places on campus for students to spend time at. Instead of staying in your dorm so much, try spending more time at these locations so you can interact with other students.
If you’re shy or introverted, hanging out around campus will help you break out of your shell and make you feel more comfortable being around people.
6. Go to Parties
College life has its fair share of parties, both formal and informal, which can be fun environments to meet to new people at. Some colleges aren’t big party schools, but that doesn’t stop students who live off campus from throwing them.
If your college is known for parties, then you can expect ones all over campus, from smaller dorm parties to larger frat parties and tailgates — it all depends on the type of college you go to and what their policies are.
College parties aren’t something you should prioritize over your academics or other responsibilities, but they are a fun perk of the college experience. Even if partying isn’t for you, it’s worth checking out a few of them just to see what they’re like. You never know who you might end up meeting or what type of fun memories you’ll make.
7. Find a Job on Campus
The idea of working while in college doesn’t sound too exciting, but it can be a great way to build friendships with the other students you work with as well as make some extra cash. Some common jobs you’ll find on campus include library assistants, mailroom assistants, peer tutors, and resident advisors.
Most campus jobs are part-time, so they won’t take up a big part of your schedule. And if you live on campus, you might only have to walk a couple minutes to get there.
Additionally, lots of campus jobs qualify for work-study funding. To increase your chances of receiving Federal Work Study funds, it’s best to file your FASFA early. The earnings you make from the program can be used to pay for day-to-day college expenses.
8. Join a Club
If you join a club or organization that aligns with your personal beliefs and interests, you’re almost guaranteed to meet someone who has things in common with you.
You can also grow your network by connecting with people who could help you in the future with internships and job opportunities. Along with getting to meet new people, you’ll be able to improve your resume, develop valuable skills, and have fun in the process.
9. Utilize Your Dorm
The dorms are filled with students who are eager to make friends just as much as you. Dorm life has its ups and downs, but it’s one of the best places on campus to socialize with other students. Once you move in, you’ll be able to build friendships with your roommates and floormates throughout the year.
Take the initiative by going door to door with your roommates and introducing yourself to neighbors so you can get to know everyone better. You can also consider leaving your door open when you’re hanging out in your room so other students can say hello as they walk by.
If you want to make friends in your residence hall but struggle with social anxiety, that’s okay; the RA on your floor will work hard to create a welcoming environment for everyone, and they’ll host fun events and activities to bring students together.
How to Maintain Friendships
Maintaining friendships in college is all about time and effort. As a busy college student, finding free time can be challenging. It’s easier to stay friends with people who are in your classes, live in your building, or you see around campus because you can still interact with each other despite having busy schedules.
However, if you’ve become friends with someone in a previous semester and don’t see very often anymore, the friendship could start to deteriorate. Luckily, the tips below will help you find ways to maintain your friendships despite certain circumstances getting in the way.
1. Make Plans
One of the key ingredients to maintaining friendships is spending time together. Of course, it’s easier said than done when you and your friends have busy schedules. The best thing to do is reach out and see when they’re free so you can make plans with them.
The plans don’t have to be anything extravagant — getting breakfast in the morning, studying together after class, or just hanging out in each other’s dorm rooms is enough. When you have more free time on the weekends, try planning some fun activities like eating at a new restaurant or going on a day trip.
Friendships are only sustainable if you’re willing to prioritize time for them. The memories you make with your friends in college are ones you’ll remember for the rest of your life, so don’t take them for granted.
2. Resolve Conflicts ASAP
It doesn’t matter how close you are with your friends, conflicts are still likely to occur. When they do, it’s important to deal with them right away so they don’t linger around and become bigger issues that can jeopardize your friendships.
The best course of action to take when dealing with friendship conflicts or any type of drama within your friend group is to properly communicate your perspective of the issue to your friend. From there, listen to your friend’s point of view so you can understand the situation from their side.
Once you’ve both explained your perspectives, propose solutions to help resolve the conflict and listen to any solutions they might have. Be willing to find a healthy compromise that allows both of you to move on without any hurt feelings.
3. Try New Things
There’s nothing wrong with a regular hangout routine with your friends, like getting coffee in the morning before class or studying at the library a few times a week. But it’s also a good idea to embark on new experiences together so you can spice things up and make some fun memories.
Talk to your friends about finding new hobbies to try together or places in the area they’ve been wanting to check out. Planning fun adventures or new activities do to with your friends helps you interact with them on a more frequent basis, which is a key component to maintaining friendships.
4. Communicate
Communication is the foundation to any good friendship, and it helps built a strong bond between you and your friends. Being able to fully trust someone and feel confident that you can rely on them in times of need all starts with communication.
Having good communication with your friends involves acknowledging the efforts they make, seeing how they’re doing from time to time, and having deep conversations that give you a better understanding of who they are as a person.
Just taking a few minutes to check up on them can help make their day. The more you and your friends communicate with each other, the better connected you’ll be.
5. Respect Other Priorities
It’s nice hanging out with friends as a kid and not having anything else to worry about or take up your time. Unfortunately, things become a little more complicated when you grow up. While it’s important to make friendships a priority in order to maintain them, it’s also important to respect the other priorities your friends have.
Between academics, extracurriculars, social life, and family life, there’s a lot students have to keep up with, so try to be understanding the next time your friend says they can’t hangout.
As adults, our lives get pretty hectic, especially in college. Stay patient when adult responsibilities get in the way of seeing your friends. At the end of the day, people who truly care about their friends will make time for them.
6. Show Care and Concern
Showing your friends how much they mean to you will help solidify the friendship you have with each other. Small gestures like giving them a hug, saying they have nice outfit on, or getting them a gag gift can make a big difference.
You can also show them you care by celebrating their achievements — getting a new job, doing well on final exams, etc — and remembering their birthday and dates that are important to them. If you have a friend who’s going through a break up or has lost a loved one, try to comfort them.
Additionally, be sure to actively listen when they’re sharing their problems and feelings with you instead of cutting them off. Being a good listener when your friends are venting to you shows them how much you value their friendship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Building quality friendships take a lot of work, but without a supportive group of friends by your side, feelings of loneliness and depression can start to affect your emotional well-being. Below, I’ve addressed some commonly asked questions regarding how to make friends in college to ensure you’re ready to connect with the right people in any college environment.
1. How do I make friends in college if I commute?
While you won’t be living on campus, you can still utilize most of the tips I’ve mentioned above to make friends. You’ll still be able to attend events, join clubs, go to parties, and hangout around campus. And once you make some friends who do live on campus, you can hangout at their dorms and meet more students that way.
2. How do I make friends in college if I do online?
Making friends as an online college student can be difficult since you don’t have a physical presence on campus, but it’s not impossible. One of the best ways to interact with and befriend students online is by talking to them during live lectures.
Many colleges use Zoom and other videoconferencing platforms for their online courses. Once you’re in the virtual classroom for one of your courses, try introducing yourself to the other students before class starts.
During class, try to participate as much you can by answering the professors questions and giving your thoughts on different topics. Letting your voice be heard will show everyone you’re friendly and approachable, increasing your chances of other students reaching out to you.
You can also interact with students after class by emailing them and asking for help on assignments or to study together. Once you’re more familiar with some of your classmates, ask for their username on Instagram or Facebook so you can follow them.
3. Do I need a lot of friends?
Having a lot of friends isn’t a necessity, but if you want to have a lot, then that’s completely up to you. Connecting with more people can potentially benefit you after college when searching for career opportunities, and it can improve your socializing skills.
Unfortunately, not everyone is trustworthy, so the more friends you have, the more likely one of them will be fake and not truly appreciate the friendship they have with you.
Personally, I always preferred to have a smaller group of friends because I value quality over quantity. Having three or four close friends that will have your back no matter what certainly beats having a dozen friends who are unreliable and talk badly about you to others.
4. How do I find friends that won't take advantage of me?
The only way to really determine if a potential friend is going to take advantage of you or not is by getting to know them yourself. Be weary of people who only want to hangout when it’s convenient for them, only reach out for favors, and constantly dismiss what you have to say.
College has its fair share of fake and immature people, but it also has genuine people with integrity, so keep that in mind when trying to make friends.
